As I was working on a header for the blog, I had several movies playing in the background. I was looking through all of the free movies that were available on YouTube, and low and behold, the fucking X-Files movie was on there! I hadn't been able to see that movie in a phat ass minute!
That movie has always stayed with me, ever since I saw it as a kid. The screeches from the alien freaked me the fuck out, as well as the design of the alien creature. Usually, aliens are depicted as silent, inquisitive greys. This movie flips that and makes them violent and primitive. Spooky!
But the scene that sticks with me the most is when Mulder boards the mother ship to rescue Scully and she's in one of those tubes. There are rows of infected humans and alien bodies suspended in liquid. He breaks her out of her tube and disturbs the aliens resting, hurriedly curing her with the vaccine to help her escape. One of the aliens breaks out and begins to pursue them, crawling after them in the vent. It's a very suspenseful and scary moment, one that has stuck with me since then.
It was nice to watch the film again through the eyes of an adult, rather than a child. If I had enough patience, I'd probably watch all of the seasons of the X-Files. Maybe I'll start the series as I begin to draw out my comics. I'd also have to start Twin Peaks; I've already watched Fire Walks With Me, I should probably commit! Good stuff! However, for every solid horror/sci-fi movie, there's always another stupid ass film to tear you down...
As I was searching, I noticed another film that sparked my interest... Rings (2017). I struggled heavily trying to remember the film's plot, but I just couldn't! My mind kept going back to The Grudge's film history and its sequels, I couldn't remember shit about it! So, the only way to rectify this situation was to watch the damned thing! What a fucking letdown!
Maybe around 10 minutes in I began to remember this dogshit movie. Fuck, this movie blows! The director or screenwriter decided to take, like, a modern, teen flick of the summer, Cabin in the Woods, college lovey-dovey bullshit route, which completely dismisses the beauty of the atmosphere of the first film. And everyone's acting sucks dick!!
I didn't really pay attention to it as I was drawing, and I didn't even finish it. I think the thing that pissed me off the most was the Fucking Fever Ray song playing in the background of a scene. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING FEVER RAY - THE WOLF IN THE BACKGROUND OF A RING FILM WHEN THE SONG WAS MADE FOR AND FEATURED IN RED RIDING HOOD?!?! A MOVIE ABOUT WEREWOLVES. IN WHICH THE SONG IS CALLED THE WOLF? FEVER RAY IS HOWLING ON THE TRACK. THE SONG HAS ALREADY BEEN USED, IT'S LIKE USING FLIGHTLESS BIRD AMERICAN MOUTH IN ANOTHER TEEN FLICK PROM DANCE SCENE!!
I am irrationally upset, but that bothered me. I like Fever Ray. It just felt stupid to hear that song in the background of this stupid ass film. Kinda random, you know? Unnecessary. Anyways, the movie was boring as shit, no wonder I forgot about it. BECAUSE IT'S FORGETTABLE.
The next film I saw is not a horror film, but it can be scary to some; Babygirl (2024). Nicole Kidman keeps breathing sexily throughout the film, and she comes HARD after getting fingered. lol. So she acts like a dog and likes to be told what to do. So what? Everybody does???? You're not special or different, Nicole! And that was it, dude, I thought she was gonna get, like, spanked or something. He just gave her some fucking grandma candy and pet her head. Give us nothing Babygirl!! And the dude was so annoying and insecure and immature. You're gonna let that little BOY dominate you? He can't even command you to take your clothes off, he's like, "Can you... like-take. your clothes off?" Puh-lease!
That's why I prefer Secretary (2002), and E.L. James TOTALLY stole her nachos. Anyways, they need to make a film about a submissive man under a dominant woman in the work setting, realism be damned. I want her to leave her high-heel imprint on his bare chest, tie him up and overstimulate him!! Make him bark, goddammit! MAKE HIM WEAR WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR THE WHOLE DAY AND MAKE HIM NUT THE LACE AS A REWARD!! I don't know, just a few suggestions, I'm just thinking out loud, here. I support women expressing their sexuality, we just keep seeing the same stories over and over again in which the woman is submissive and the man is dominant. switch it up. Make them gay. I am BORED!
After that, my mom put on Terrifier 3 and I checked out. Hate. I don't mind excessive gore, I don't mind plotless films, I don't mind horror films just existing for the fuck of it. But I've come to the conclusion that I do not care at all for Terrifier. I hate the way it's filmed, first of all. Like a YouTube video or a 4k porno or something. I would've preferred a porno over whatever Terrifier is. The film is so unstimulating. Yeah I said it. BORING. I don't care for it!! I don't give a frog's fat ass if you do like the series, be true to who you are!! Good for you :) Not everyone likes The Blair Witch project, but I would take a bullet for that film. I'm not gonna yuck someone's yum, in the sense that I'll try to change your mind into not liking it. I don't give a damn! It is just not for me. Horror isn't political... Sure, okay... (¬_¬)
Anyways! I looked up some horror films that are coming out this year, so here are some that I'm interested in seeing!
- 28 Years Later: Should I say more? Zombies, man. The next installment. Let's. Go.
- Final Destination Bloodlines: Love the first and especially love the third installments. I have never seen a Final Destination film in theaters, I am so fucking pumped to see that one!
- Return to Silent Hill: I will not expect anything... ANYTHING from that film, I just need to see a Silent Hill movie in the theaters, so help me God.
- Jurassic World Rebirth: Not necessarily a horror film, even though I wanted it to be more of a scarier film. However, there are some dinosaur failed experiments appearing in the film, some real freaks of nature. Cue Red Sex by Vessel.
- The Conjuring; Last Rites: It will either really fucking suck or it will be decent, but I'm not gonna expect too much from it. It would be fun to watch in the theater with a bunch of people in the dark. It'll come out in September, the month we all pregame for Halloween.
- Five Night at Freddy's 2: Need I say anything? Probably would be fun to hear a bunch of kids get scared in the dark. But it could go south, just like the Minecraft movie experience...
- Avatar: Fire and Ash: Not a horror film! However, I'd love to see an Avatar film in theaters, but holy fucking shit the film's 3 hours long!?!? I don't know if I'll be able to make it through! It'd be a fun experience, especially if you watch it at like 10 PM or something.
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