Goth "This or That" Tag

 

    I had some YouTube videos playing in the background while I was writing last night and I came across this tag! Thank you Madame Absinthe :) I'm a sucker for tags, it brings me back to my young blogging days! It's a quick, fun little tag to end the month of August.

1. Crypts or Cathedrals

This is a really hard choice. I've seen some really beautiful cathedrals online, I'm sure you're familiar with the numerous tiktok's of a certain one with Rammstein playing in the background. lol. Cathedrals are absolutely stunning on the outside and lovely on the inside, but I think a crypt is a lot more haunting. It's more chilling to go through a passageway to descend underground, just to see a chapel or burial place. It probably smells like stone and the earth, as well as something ancient. Spooky stuff! We don't have nice looking architecture over here in the Central Valley, so I'd honestly be impressed with almost anything, lol! 

2. Graveyards or Mausoleums?

This was also a difficult choice to make! After some heavy thinking, I'm gonna have to go with graveyards! A Mausoleum is nice and all, especially when you want to visit a loved one, but a graveyard is classic! It's a wide, open space in which you can respectfully hang out. You can walk through the cemetery for any evening stroll, you can have a picnic, you can make art, etc.

I am reminded of a controversy that happened not too long ago regarding cemeteries; Two people had taken a lewd photo atop a deceased person's grave. For the last 15 years or so, the Goth community has had this discourse surrounding photographing in graveyards and whether it's disrespectful or not. This incident really takes the fucking cake! They could've DIY'd their own gravestone, wrote a cheeky epitaph, and did a photoshoot using that as a prop! The lesson: Don't. Do. That!

3. Ravens or Bats

This one is a bit easier because I do not have a strong affinity for bats. I know, I know, a bit blasphemous, but I was never enamored with bats. It's a very common symbol amongst the Goth community and the print can be seen everywhere during Halloween time. They just don't do anything for me! Ravens, on the other hand, I can get into! Especially crows :) I always like the idea of having a Raven/Crow familiar, and if not a bird, a cat. Ravens remind me of when I was in the 7th grade and I would binge a bunch of Edgar Allen Poe literature when I finished up my school work.

4. Gargoyles or Demons

Gargoyles are really cool looking, for sure. I just learned that a sculpture is a gargoyle only when they spit out water, otherwise they're known as "grotesques". Neat! However, demons evoke a more visceral reaction out of me. I am very attracted to things that actually freak me the fuck out, like the anatomy of a spider or the body horror of zombies. I am very enamored by the supernatural and possession films are some of my favorite genres, even though a majority of films are complete dogshit, lol. The old medieval depictions of demons are some of my favorite images to come across!

5. Ghosts or Vampires

Are you fucking stupid? Vampires, obviously!!! LMAOO! I've been obsessed with vampires ever since I was a kid! Even if you asked me Vampires or Werewolves, I would've chosen vampires! They're just so classic and they can symbolize anything from seduction to manipulation. Movies are still being made about vampires to this day, man! Easy choice.

6. Wizards or Warlocks

I would have to choose wizard. Gandalf is a wizard. If I'm not mistaken, wizards initially have magical powers, while warlocks only practice the craft. I can respect a warlock because they learned how to practice witchcraft on their own accord, but I would prefer to have been born a wizard. The blue robes and hat with the yellow celestial print is a classic look, you know?

7. Thunderstorms or Fog

This question is funny because if you've dealt with the extremes of either of these weather phenomenons, you wouldn't willfully choose any of them, lol! In the valley, fog is very dangerous here and people pray for each other to make it back from work to home safely. It's very bad here, you have to drive slow and have your window down because if you can't see, you must be able to hear. Fog at night... I've never had so much anxiety in my life!

It's the same with thunderstorms! We do not get a lot of rain here, but we do get the occasional heavy storm. It is not nice or safe to travel in. When I was attending university, I had to use the freeway for the last 25 minutes of my drive. Where I attended university is notorious for having very, very bad drivers, so the traffic was already a nightmare. And then it starts to rain real heavy... I had to take an early exit and wait because not only was I being blinded by the cars in front of me, splashing my windshield with water, the rainfall was just fucking beating down on my car. I don't even know how my car was able to drive through all of that water!

So, if I did not have to travel through any of these weather conditions, I would have to choose thunderstorms, duh! We get fog here all of the time, lol! And yes, it does remind me of Silent Hill, but it also reminds me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose. We don't get rain often, so it's a novelty to us out here! Especially a thunderstorm. I do not experience any anxiety, especially if I'm safe inside of my own home. I find the rainfall comforting and cozy, with the occasional sound of thunder. The sound of thunder makes me think there's like a huge monster out there!! It excites me!!

8. Midnight or Dusk

I am going to pick midnight, for sure. If I had to choose between sunset, twilight, or dusk, I'd choose sunset. Every timestamp has its own charm, but I love to be outside around sunset. It depends on what season it is as well. The sun has to be low and I have to watch it go down. So, I guess I'm witnessing every stage?

However, the question is asking me to choose between midnight and dusk specifically, so I choose midnight! The night becomes very still at that hour and the moon is high up in the sky. Isn't midnight the middle of the night? I've been going for my jogs during the night because I can't get up early for shit, lmao! But it has been really night to run late into the night. It's like another world.

9. Candles or Lanterns

Candles all the way. Candles are timeless. Lanterns are novel, you know, with the whole nightgown and descending staircase and all. I would rather use a candelabra. Candles are very prominent tools in numerous religious practices, as well as the craft. You can use candles to pray, to cleanse, to manifest, to set a mood, to make your dwelling smell good. Candles are easily accessible! And candles just look beautiful in the dark, especially when you're relaxing or lighting up a freshly carved pumpkin :)

10. Metal or Classical

Metal. lol. Listen, I love classical music, I used to listen to Beethoven on my iPod when I was in middle school. I loved Kerli when I was younger, so I wanted to find more artists like her and Emilie Autumn popped up. I sifted through her work and I ended up loving her Laced/Unlaced album. I love the way classical musical instruments sound, I do!

But I'm a huge fan of Metal and its subgenres, dude. I have a lot of emotions running through me at all times, metal helps me work through those feelings and express them. I also get really fucking pumped when I listen to metal. That feeling you get when you hear a good drop and you stank face. Good shit, man. It's like a drug. Metal also has many subgenres and groups that use classical instruments in their songs, like Septic Flesh, Synestia and Evanescence (loosely), just to name a few. These genres can easily go hand-in-hand.

11. Velvet or Satin

This is very hard. I will say velvet because it is very hard to find at the thrift. Crushed velvet, oh yeah, but never velvet. Can you imagine a deep red velvet, vintage dress? Ugh. Maybe the inside can be lined with satin? lol!

I remember being obsessed with Twilight when I was younger (vampires, duh), like everyone else. I had gotten this Twilight interactive activity book from target and it had a bunch of quizzes. One of them was to test to see if you were Edward Cullen's ideal type of love interest... At the end of the test, you would go through all of his preferences and how ever many you got right would determine whether he would pick you or not, lmao!!

One of the questions was like "If you had a coffin, what would the inside of your coffin be lined with?". The choices were like "A. White Virginal Cotton, B. Messy With Blood, C. Deep Red Satin" and other shit like that. Can you guess which one you were supposed to choose? I chose satin, of course! However, the answer key said that Edward wouldn't like me because the red satin was too intense and seductive... Oh brother!!

12. Silk or Lace

Another tough choice... I love lace accents on silk. I feel like lace would be uncomfortable to wear on its own, maybe a bit itchy? Usually lace dresses are lined with polyester or something. I've been looking through pictures of lace dresses and I'm not too impressed. I think I'm gonna have to pick silk! Silk just feel nicer, sexier.

13. Red or Black Lipstick

Red! I know I was dying for a black lipstick not too long ago and I ended up getting one for my birthday. However, I feel like red lipstick looks the best on me because of my skin tone. I loveeee a deep, blue-red lipstick. I prefer a cream lipstick, not too matte and not too shiny. A while back, I came across the Bloody Lip Tints from Sushy Glow Cosmetics and I love them!! I purchased Ripped Guts and Lilith, I love those colors! Ripped Guts is a warm, almost brick red color. If you think about it too hard, it might gross you out! And Lilith is just the perfect shade of red, in my opinion! It's a deep red that I like to layer my Maybelline Lifter Gloss in "Taffy" over!

14. Wine or Coffee

Coffee, through and through. I know red wine is such a Goth staple, as well as romantic. I did try it and I liked it. I've just had too many bad experiences with alcohol in general, lol. I remember drinking a huge one to myself and vomiting my brains out. Wine also gives me really bad heartburn and diarrhea. Wine also has too much sugar. I know coffee isn't any better in that department, but coffee won't give me alcohol poisoning. Which I've had multiple times.

Anyways, coffee is a universal language. Coffee is a bonding experience, especially since I come from a Latino household. It's coffee and panecito in the morning and coffee and panecito at night, lol. Coffee and chisme. Walking through nature with a cup of coffee, a cold one in the summer, a hot one during the winter. Cafes in the morning, cafes at night. I love coffee!!

15. Roses or Peonies

What a silly question. Roses are overrated for a reason, man. People will say "I don't want roses because roses are basic" and blah blah blah. Roses will always be on top! I will admit, Lilly's, Sunflowers, and Lavender are some great contenders, but I will always love a bouquet of Roses!

    Those were all of the questions! That was a great writing exercise. Tomorrow will be September 1st, so I will be starting the Horror Film tag! Exciting :) Blessed Be!

Halloween Shopping is Just Regular Shopping

 

    August is a bit early for Halloween shopping, however, it's perfect for a ghoul like me. Oh no, every single store is catering to my interests? What a nightmare! Lol, but just think about it: Clothes, kitchenware, house decor, blankets, horror movies playing 24/7, food and coffee, all Halloween themed. Everything you like, available at your convenience. I wish it was like that all of the time, it's a lifestyle :)

    I had the privilege of looking around at a couple of stores for some cool stuff. I visited the Dollar Tree, Wal-Mart, Spirit Halloween, and Target with my mother. Some of the stores didn't have all of their stuff out yet, so I'd love to go back and revisit some stores.

    We went to the Dollar Store first! That Dollar Tree location used to be the 99 Cent store; I remembered walking there from community college. I had these long time gaps between classes, so I was able to take these long-ass treks to the mall and stuff. That's the scariest thing about getting older and time passing, everything changes. Things can only exist in memories.

    The Dollar Tree moves really fast! They put their shit out and then they're on to the next, so I was able to see everything.. My mom ended up picking up some kitchen towels, potholders, and a couple of decorations. They're all vibrant colors, it reminds me of vintage Halloween decor! I only picked up 3 packs of syringes and a pillow!

    When I pick up stuff, I usually like to get more everyday stuff. If it's too Halloweeny, it feels a bit cheesy, you know? Like those black dressed with the peter pan collars? No offense to those who wear them, fuck what I think, lol. However, when I saw that pumpkin pillow, I had to pick it up! It just looked so classic, you know? I think I'm really in the mood for some classic Halloween decor this year. I got the syringes because I love those mixed drinks! I always want to make them for Halloween, but I never have the syringes.

    Then, we went to Wal-Mart! They had their accessories out, and some pajamas, but they were barely putting up the rest of their stuff. I was going to get some accessories, but I couldn't justify paying $5 each for things I didn't absolutely love. The jewelry had the right idea, but they were a bit too costumey. I would've liked them more if they were more refined.

    I ended up picking up a coffin shaped plate with a skeleton on it because I saw it online, lol. The plate was just very Tim Burton-esque. I know Tim Burton's stuff is overrated for a reason, but I'm still enamored with his film aesthetic. Then, I checked out the clothes to see if they had put out their Horror tees. They were not up yet, but the pajamas were! I immediately wanted the Mummy pin-up moomoo, but the image on it was that rubbery texture? I just know that would crack and become dingy the more you wash it. The next best option was the lilac pin-up pajamas. They are so cute, I think I like them more than moomoo. The bride of Frankenstein is there, so I guess it makes up for the mummy...

    Spirit Halloween didn't open until 11 AM, so by the time we finished up at Wal-Mart, it was open! I've been waiting weeks to go, so I was excited! However, when I went inside I was a bit crestfallen. The store was a little disorganized and empty. I was looking around and trying to find all of the new stuff, but I couldn't tell what was new from the old.

    Is it just me, or were there more plus size options last year? I wasn't able to find as many plus size options at that location, so I'm wondering if it's the same everywhere? Spoiler, I did visit another location and was able to find more options there, but I still feel like there aren't a lot this year? Has it always been that way? Or am I just tripping? I don't know, but big bitches like myself want to be slutty nuns too. I mean, the costumes are ridiculously expensive, so DIY is ultimately the way to go! Plus, it's more fun to put your costume together that way!

    Anyways, I wanted 3 main things from Spirit: A corset, a Fiend mask, and a set of vampire fangs. I made the decision to pick up the corset because I view it as a substantial piece in my wardrobe. That thing was $30, but worth it. It's not a legit corset in the slightest, but I will wear the shit out of it. I wasn't able to pick up everything else because of the prices; I'm sure if I had saved my money from my previous transactions I'd have enough for everything but dayum.

    What I did get, however, was a Ouija Board mint tin case. The mints inside were shaped like planchets. The mints didn't taste as strong as I'd like them to, but it was a nice gimmick! I wanted to pick up some ouija themed hair claws, but they were small and looked a bit flimsy. Spirit Halloween specializes in costume jewelry, but you can tell how cheap they look. I feel the same way about their accessories by the cash register, the jewelry is like the same quality as Wal-Mart's.

    I didn't fully enjoy my visit there, but regardless, I still had fun. Feeling a bit dissatisfied, we made our way to Target. I saw online that Target's going with a vintage Halloween style for their decor; That seems to be this year's theme. Unfortunately, Target didn't have anything out except for a couple of things in the front and a small pop-up in between the food and shampoo aisles. From the front section, I picked up a mini eyeball tote and a mini cauldron pillow. I've been liking the cauldron motif as of late, so I really liked that pillow!

    The next day, I went to the nail salon with my mom to get our nails done. I was in dire need for a Mani/Pedi, my nails were too long and my dead skin was building up on my hands and nails. I know that sounds crazy; Why aren't you taking care of your own nails?? I do need to learn how to upkeep my own nails. However!! I don't usually keep my nails so long! They grew out pretty fast from the last appointment, which is good because they were thinning out with each drill (they use the drill to shave off the gel polish).

    I had been getting the builder's gel to protect my nails from the drilling. I do love how nice my nails look with it, it looks like acrylic. I feel like the last couple of sessions really helped my nails grow, so I decided to forgo the builder's gel. Plus, it took so long for the nail tech to build the gel up and then paint my nails, especially when you need a base for the glitter!!!

    I really wanted red cat eye nails, but I ended up choosing glass gel? It looked better on the display... When I requested it, the nail tech got a bit scared! I don't think she worked with the polish before, lol! It needed a silver base coat for the effect I wanted, so when she applied it, it like shriveled up? It pooled up? She did 2 coats and it did cover the silver, but it doesn't look great, lol! My left hand looks a lot better than my right hand! I blame the polish, not the nail tech!

    Anyways, the nail tech did very well with my nails. I have impacted toenails and my finger nails curl into my skin. With the builder's gel, my dead skin really built up around my fingernails. This might be TMI, but she really got up in there, lol! I needed my toenails trimmed real bad, the corners of my nails were digging into my skin. If I didn't have a thick layer gel on my nails, I would've trimmed them myself. So! Big relief!!

    My nails are fine, I can kind of see how the gel is supposed to look like glass. It's not my favorite and I won't be requesting that technique/polish again, lmao!! But from far away, they look nice. The color is a warm red, it looks like blood! I don't think the nail salon has a lot of neat red colors, I don't like Red glitter because it reminds me of Christmas or the fourth of July. I might do another red color next time, if not, I really love blue/indigo. That color has been really appealing to me as of late!

    After that, my mother and I grabbed some Dunkin' since we didn't get to eat breakfast. I got my second Pumpkin Spice latte of the season, as well as a bacon-topped avocado toast and some hash browns. I asked for loaded hash browns but they gave me normal ones instead :/ It was okay though, the toast and coffee usually mess up my stomach, and the cheese probably would've set me off.

    I asked my mom if we could stop by the thrift store! I really wanted to look at the books and movies, so that's where I immediately went! I was looking real hard at the movies on the shelves, but I didn't find shit. I ended up encountering an unattended cart and I took a look. Low and behold! That's wher all of the horror films were hiding. I only grabbed 4, the other's were Prom Night (2008) and Friday the 13th (2009).

    Even though I am a fan of 2000's horror, I didn't really care for those films, lol. Dead Silence (2007) was such a score, as was House of Wax (2005). House of Wax's soundtrack goes so hard, I miss that about the early 2000's. One Missed Call (2008) is so shit, lmao, but the film poster has always stuck with me. The Quiet (2005) is a strange film, trigger warning in advance if you decide to watch it. I've been reading some reviews about the film having some Gothic elements and tones to it, and I have to agree. I feel like if the film had been pushed, in every aspect, it would've been a good Gothic horror film.

    I looked around some more and found this really beautiful top. It's vintage and looks like something an old lady would wear to a winter wedding, lol. Or a New Year's Eve party. The top is covered in sparkly blue/indigo sequins. My arms and torso are a bit too long for the top, but it still fits! There are slits on the sides that end at my waist, so I need to find out what kind of bottoms I can wear with it. Here's a video showing how shiny it is, since you can't really tell in the photo.

    We ended our outing with a trip to another Spirit, as I previously mentioned. This location was so much better, 100%. It was better in every way, lmao. I can't wait to go back again this Monday. This location is where I found a bit more plus size options. It's still not a lot, lol. But, the likelihood of me purchasing a $60+ costume from there is none. If I'm being real with you. It's just better to make your costume from the ground up, it's more personable.

    That was my Thursday and Friday, lol! I did go to my cousin's football game Friday night and I saw my family :) It was nice to see everyone and neat to see my cousin play. It restored something in me. I felt really happy being around them. I'll finish up this post with an outfit pic from that night! I felt like a pin-up, Gothabilly vibe :)

Blessed Be

50 Questions, 8 Years Later

 

19 Years Old, c. January 2018

    I was going through the notes app on my phone because I was trying to find old blog posts from like 2017/2018. I didn't think I'd ever want to look back on those posts, but I'm so far away from that time in my life, I can look back with "fondness".

    I've been blogging since I was like 12 years old, lol! I kept making new blogs and deleting them because I was deeply insecure. I continued blogging all the way through adulthood, hence this revisit to an old blog challenge from January of 2018.

    At this point in my life, I was still heavily dissociated. I felt like a ghost, or a person piloting a mecha. An observer of my own life. My skin suit was loose. I remember taking a picture of myself one day, when I was dressed up for a bridal shower. I couldn't recognize that person in the picture and it freaked me out. Who is that? Is that me? Little did I know, I was on the precipice of a huge revelation. I was just about to experience one of the hardest journeys of my life.

    The list of questions aren't that profound and some answers might be similar in nature. It's just interesting to see how much I've changed just by looking at the vernacular I used to use. As a retrospective, I will be answering the same questions now as an extremely self-aware 27 year old. Yippie!

1. Name

2018: J.D. Gonzales. What, did you think you’d find out my real name?? 

2025: I knew I wanted to go by a gender neutral pen name back then. It still holds up! The J stands for Joseph, short for Josephine. You can see my chosen name right next to me, in the picture above, on a magazine clipping. I might've known that I wanted to use J.D. Gonzales back then, but I didn't know that I would choose the name "Joseph". It's a crazy little coincidence that prompted me to do this post.

 

2. Zodiac sign

2018: Cancer sun, Sagittarius moon. Ew, huh?

2025: Relax, dude. Cancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising. Only if you believe in that kind of stuff! ;)

3. 3 fears

2018: An early death, losing a loved one, and intimacy ;)

2025: Hmm... Valid answers. A bit safe, with a touch of edge. I fear not being able to accomplish any of the things I've sacrificed parts of my life for. All for nothing. I used to be afraid of dying, but I think if I lived my life to the fullest, I wouldn't be so worried. Losing a loved one still stands, I would die if I lost anyone prematurely. I've worked hard on my fears of being perceived and intimacy. So... Being abducted, assaulted, and murdered. 

4. 3 things I love

2018: Spending time with friends and family, learning and discovering, and beautiful days

2025: That still holds up. 

5. My best friend

2018: I have a couple of close friends that I hold dear to me (✿˘艸˘✿)

2025: You know, I was just thinking about the people I used to call friends... A lot of them did not deserve me and they were fucking awful people and fucking bad friends. I didn't realize that because of the depersonalization. I do not have any close friends anymore, just my family. I would love some friends, though. I ache for community.

6. Last song I listened to

2018: The Goddess - Alesana, I’ve been listening to them since middle school.

2025: I still love Alesana, they've blown up on TikTok to my pleasant surprise. Last song I listened to was "Buried Myself Alive" - The Used. And if you want me back, You're gonna have to ask...

7. 3 Turn ons

2018: Food, a good guitar solo, and t̶͖̔͝he d̸̩͔̋emis̴̩̼͊e ŏ̴̖̠f the hų̶̐man rac̷̼͆͋e

2025: I have always been a romantic and I thought by high school I'd have a partner. I low-key did, but let's not talk about that one!!! Nothing physical, just emotional. At the age of 19, my self-esteem was so fucking damaged, I felt disgusted at the thought of someone loving me. The bar was in hell, as they say. I was also very socially inept. I couldn't tell what people's intentions were. I was deflecting the answer above because my feelings of disgust were too intense to be vulnerable. The thought of having "turn-on's" was ridiculous, because a person as disgusting as me didn't deserve to feel desire.

Anyways, I love confidence, security, and openness. I'm 27, man, I don't have any patience for bullshit. I love having stimulating conversations, writing poems, picking flowers, leaving love notes, getting inside your head. I want that Pavlovian response. Seduction through words. I love when they beg and I love when they want me to hurt them. In the bedroom, of course.

8. 3 Turn offs

2018: Stinky, greasy asshole, not made of metal, breathes

2025: Again, I am deflecting. I do hate poor hygiene, though. I love the way someone smells when they've just woken up, I don't mind that. It's when you don't wash that ass is when it becomes a problem! I love passionate people, I hate violent, aggressive, argumentative people. I don't like when people try to control me or try to fuck with my head. Manipulation. 

9. What colour underwear I’m wearing right now

2018: Wouldn’t you like to know, sick-ass

2025: Heh. I have a buttplug the size of a coke bottle shoved up my ass. 

10. How many tattoos/piercings do I have

2018: Too indecisive and fickle to have a tat, but ready to put many holes in my body for sure 🤙

2025: I am fickle, however, I've wanted tattoos on the same parts of my body since I was in high school. So, I know I want them, I just need to figure out what exactly. I have some great ideas, but I need to collaborate with a tattoo artist. At the moment, no tats, just my ears pierced. That will change.

11. The reason I started blogging

2018: Mmmmm it’s more like “why am I doing this website” typa thing. And blog too, I guess. I needed a place to upload my work. Needed it to look nice n’ shit. A little ominous, you feel? I don’t know how it’ll work out though. And blogging... To prove that I am a sentient being and to use my provided tools as an outlet for my painfully introverted self. You know, open up?

2025: Very honest here. I started blogging cause MySpace went to shit, lol. I wanted a little place on the internet to myself. In high school, I wanted to be a fashion blogger. That was a big deal back then. Further down the line, I began working on creating a website for my artwork. That has been a work in progress since then. I have a website that I created to the best of my ability, but if I want it to be like how I actually envision it, I'd have to pay someone the big bucks.

Now, I blog because I love it, I've always loved it. I like to write and express myself. The whole fashion blogger thing never went away, so I post about that and my other interests. I am contemplating youtube, however, only for art-related endeavors. 

12. How I feel right now

2018: Tired and dumb

2025: lol. Still valid. My back hurts. 

13. Something I really really want

2018: A buncha patches for my jean jacket!

2025: I have a battle vest now. I didn't even think of DIY-ing my own patches back then. Stupid kid.

14. My current relationship status

2018: No

2025: The horrors!! I'm single, but not for long. My tarot cards have been going crazy.

15. Meaning behind my URL

2018: The Machinist film inspired it. Although, I don’t really like the film. And Johnen Vasquez. 

2025: I can't even remember My old URL for this blog, I've had so many. I'd been an insomniac for a majority of my life. I've healed a lot since then. I'm too old to be pulling all-nighters, it's ridiculous. Waste the day away, why don't you!

My obsession with angels started late 2018 when I broke mentally. Angels have been an on-going theme in my work since then. I've also been into the ideology of Bondage since high school. I think bdsm is very intimate and involves a lot of trust and understanding. And if you think about it, angels are bound to God and solely exist to serve God...

16. My favourite movie

2018: 2 many 2 chews 

2025: Valid.

17. My favourite song

2018: None of that bullshit

2025: Valid! However, I've been listening to "Set Apart This Dream"- Flyleaf as of late.

18. My favourite band

2018: No

2025: Still valid! However, I love The Birthday Massacre and the Misfits a bit extra during Autumn. 

19. 3 Things that upset me

2018: Loud noises, hypocrisy, being taken advantage of or deceived

2025: Still holds up.

20. 3 Things that make me happy

2018: Making art, discoveries, breakfast at my grandparents 

2025: I love this. Even though making art stresses me the fuck out, I wouldn't do anything else in the world. My grandparents have become heavenly angels, so no more Sunday breakfast :( 

21. What I find attractive in other people

2018: Being confident in who they are as a person, hands, ?

2025: See? Confidence! I do still love hands. I am really attracted to dark, deep intensity. I love boldness. Strength. 

22. Someone I miss

2018: I miss the company of my friends and family

2025: This is still true. I am friendless and I haven't seen the rest of my family in over 2 weeks. I miss my grandparents the most.

23. Someone I love

2018: Goofy. Emmymadeinjapan. Mommy Tang. 

2025: Heh. Goofy. Umm... Myself, even though it's really hard to do :D

24. My relationship with my parents

2018: Pretty good, I’m lucky

2025: I know that they love me.

25. My favourite holiday

2018: Halloween you stupid bitch, even if it gets more depressing as you get older. I hate Christmas decorations, songs and movies (With a few exceptions, of course) but I enjoy the time spent with family. 

2025: Hehehe. I love Halloween!!! I don't hate Christmas anymore, I just don't like vintage Christmas decorations. They bring me such dread. 

26. My closest blogging friend

2018: Wtf I don't even know nobody on here

2025: Blogging's dead, man, lol! Personal websites aren't, though. What with Spacehey and Carrd and all. I use blogger because I'm an old decrepit bastard.

27. Someone famous I’d date

2018: I prefer someone who isn’t real

2025: I was thinking about Genos from One Punch Man. He's still so fine. 

28. A confession

2018: I’m supposed to go to school in 4 hours but I haven’t slept yet

2025: It's almost 3 AM as I'm typing this. I said I healed my insomnia, not my sleeping schedule. But a confession... Social Media has been boring me to death. 

29. 3 Things that annoy me easily

2018: Stinky, small minded people, eh

2025: Still valid. I hate judgmental people. I was at Spirit Halloween and these broads were making fun of Furries. Annoyed the shit outta me.

30. My favourite animal

2018: I like a good ol’ bear or baby elephant 

2025: Still cute!!

31. My pets

2018: 2 pit bulls: Rose and Zephyr and a white German Shepard named Lily

2025: We just have Zephyr now. We also have 3 Frenchies, Buddy (Dad), Clover (Short for Cloverfeild. We named here after the monster. Mom), and Root Beer (Baby).

32. One thing I’ve lied about

2018: Eh too many

2025: Being okay, lol. I know I need to reach out and open up, but I'd rather see a professional at this point.

33. Something that’s currently worrying me

2018: How imma function tomorrow 

2025: I'm worrying about getting back onto my own feet again, while doing the things that I love.

34. An embarrassing moment

2018: I’d rather not 

2025: So many!! lol! There were a lot of moments in middle school that are bad :( Like my "friend" pantsing me in the middle of the soccer field in front of everyone. I'm over it, i'm just still in disbelief!

35. Where I work

2018: I don’t, I know I’m pathetic 

2025: I was not pathetic, I was lost. However, I am pathetic now, lol. I used to work as a paraprofessional back then. I did subbing for a bit, but fuck them kids, it was not worth it. lol, I don't mean all of them, but damn, these kids were so fucking bad.

36. Something that’s constantly on my mind

2018: Creating

2025: Still true! 

37. 3 Habits I have

2018: Procrastinating, eating when bored, staying up too late

2025: Still true, lol!! 

38. My future goals

2018: I want to actually start a comic, get my drivers license, and grow my hair out to my asshole

2025: LMAOO! Everything but one still remains! I got my driver's license not too long after. I just want to build a presence online. I want to share my work. And I want compensation, lol. 

39. Something I fantasise about

2018: Genos 

2025: What'd I tell ya? Now, I fantasize about grocery shopping with a partner. Sharing the mundane with your other half. And being a vampire.

40. My favourite store

2018: Hot Topic

2025: Hot Topic is eh. Not my number one choice. I love a good discount. I like DD's, Ross, Marshall's, Daiso, etc.

41. My favourite food

2018: Veggietables and froot 

2025: This is the truth. I also love salmon on toast and sushi. 

42. What I did yesterday

2018: Eat breakfast @ my grandparents and drew walnuts 

2025: Aw. I drew walnuts for an Art 2? assignment. Drawing class at community college. They look like little brains. Yesterday, I went Halloween shopping. Post about that after this one!

43. Something I’m talented at

2018: Pretending 

2025: It was easy to pretend when no one gave a fuck about you!! lol. I sing very well. I've been teaching myself how to sing since I was a kid. Not to be pompous or anything, it's just a fact. I want to be in a band.

44. My idea of the perfect date

2018: Time-traveling. Or a lil cannibalism, I’m not picky ;)

2025: Shut up edgelord. However, I'd do time traveling in the form of visiting historical landmarks and cannibalism in the form of very passionate, aggressive love-making. Lots of biting.

These days, it would be relishing in the company of each other by partaking in fun activities. I love walking in nature with coffee, watching horror films in theaters, and exercising.

45. My celebrity crush

2018: Ugh 

2025: I don't care for famous men. Famous women are different, recently I've been into Jessica Alba.

46. My favourite blog

2018: I used to love goth blogs. Still do

2025: I loved visiting goth blogs when I was a kid. They're all archived now :( Blogging's dead, like I said. Goth and Fashion blogs were the reasons I took up blogging again in high school. They're one of the biggest reasons I blog today!

47. Number of kids I want

2018: Don’t know, it will happen when it happens 

2025: Valid, lol. For a long time, I was very adamant about not having any children. But, I could be a good parent and I love babies. I don't want any right now and I'll be that way for quite a while. I've barely started my life!!!

48. Do I smoke/drink

2018: When I feel like it, which isn’t often

2025: Valid! I tend to not drink anymore because I've thrown up too many times in the past. 

49. One word that describes me

2018: Wack

2015: heh. umm... Intense!

50. My favourite quote

2018: “One by one we will take you!”

2025: You see, I was all about hopelessness and despair at that time. This quote is a lot more intimate:

No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle.

    That was all 50 questions! It was funny to see how consistent my answers remained. I look back at that time with wonder; How the hell did I make it this far, you know? I have changed tremendously for the better. I wish I still had my old blog post, but I guess that'd be living in the past, no? It's another lesson to learn, I guess. 

    I have a lot more shit that I found in my notes app that I might divulge in. They're a bit harrowing and they show my declining mental state over the years. Just a little peak into my brain at the time, to show how far I've come.

    Anyways, I have to go to bed! I have to be up by 8 or so! I can't run on 3 hours of sleep!!! You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now!!

Blessed Be

Mercy!

    I have found myself lined up with several different outings this week. That is a good thing because I have been losing my mind over the past week or so. I really need structure and outings to break up my week before I start feeling hopeless and utter despair.

    I will be going to Spirit tomorrow. I know I keep mentioning it, but my life is so dull that a trip to Spirit is the event of the month. And I have been experiencing so much fomo. I know it's all just a waste of money and capitalistic propaganda, but I still have fun looking at everything. I don't have money to blow anyways, lol! My mother is taking me for breakfast that day, so that will be nice. I appreciate her taking me out, since she doesn't have to, you know? I am thankful. 

    My cousin has a football game on Friday, so I agreed to attend to see my family. I haven't seen my family since my grandfather's funeral 2 weeks ago, and even 2 weeks before that. When my grandfather passed, it was like POOF! Everybody's gone. I did not receive a lot of emotional support as a child, so I tend to isolate myself when I'm going through a tough time. I was isolated during this time, but it was against my own will. I would've liked to have spent some time grieving with my family, but it was like that was taken away from me, for whatever reason or another.

    Family is conditional, I guess. Don't get me wrong, I have some family members that would gladly speak with me about my troubles. I do need to reach out more, I've just been feeling trapped in these emotions as of late. Right when my grandfather decided to leave this world, everything else left with him. I have a thought that lays dormant at the back of my head: It's Saturday night, when I wake up Sunday, I have to go to my grampa's house for a late lunch. He's not there. It's just an empty house filled with memories.

    Sometimes I don't feel like I have anything left. I miss my grandparents, but I know that the physical vessel is limiting. I have but to ask, and they'll be there. Life has just felt a bit emptier without them. SO! Hometown football game it is! I hope I don't see a whole bunch of people from school there. I mean, it's a home game, of course they'll be there. My graduating class's 10th year anniversary is coming up next June. 10 years free from high school, man! And I don't miss it for one goddamn second. I'd rather be miserable out of high school, than miserable in high school.

    The days have cooled down a bit, with the weather experiencing a lull in heat for a couple of days until it inevitably bounces back into the 100's. It will be in the high 80's during the game, so I need to figure out what to wear that night. To bang, or to not bang... My hair, that is. Curtain bangs? It's also very humid at that time and it smells like fucking frogs. Hair up.

    And finally, this Saturday I will be getting my nails done. This is great because I hate typing with how long my nails are at the moment. Longer nails make my hands look more elegant and less stubby, but I hate typing with them. I need to feel the keys with my fingertips, I type faster that way! I've also been doing nothing but shades of purple for my nails, I'm ready to switch it up. I will always love a deep purple, but a deep red has been calling to me. It's vampire season.

    That's my lineup for this week. Lots of fun, yes? Touching grass, yes? Integrating with society, yes? That's all I got folks, it doesn't get any better than this! I have to be learning some kind of life lesson here. Money is important, not chasing your stupid-ass dreams? You could've gotten the fuck out of here a whole lot faster if you had just bit the bullet and stayed a substitute teacher babysitting those badass fucking kids? It would've been easier if you had just stayed in school and finished up the last 3 months? But noooo, you had to have yet another emotional breakdown. Typical.

    All passive aggressiveness aside, the guilt-tripping does no good. It's already been done. When I give myself a hard time, I forget to look back at my life and see how much hard work I did. My life sucked. I should've been dead. I put in some hardass fucking work to learn and grow and change. I've cut off all of the fat of my bloated sagging wretched life. I've been through things, very bad things, all alone. And I'm still here, despite it all.

    It's no wonder that while I would drive an hour to university, I would fantasize about driving of the fucking freeway. I would imagine myself elsewhere, just like how I did in middle school. The same fantasy as well. I would begin to wonder... My fantasies can become a reality if I really wanted them to. I didn't have any ounce of confidence in my body when it came to my dreams. That'd be silly, wouldn't it? But the fantasies persisted, and I grew so much as a person. Not so much of a wish or a dream now, is it? It persists because it wants to be born. It has grown roots.

    So I took that chance because I was dying inside. It's been a while since I made that decision and I can't say that it was the smartest one. I have to believe that this whole time I was finding out who I was without all of the trauma and anxiety. Who was I when I wasn't surviving to exist? I had to learn how to take care of myself and my needs. I am responsible for myself and that is a gift. It was rehab. I was moving through the grief and suffering. I felt every emotion, especially the ones I had to ignore in order to get shit done.

    I guess I'll give myself some grace, then. I hope it will all be worth it in the long run. Dirty hands, clean money. Well, I have to get ready for my run. I hate myself, and I don't want to hate myself anymore. I need to take care of myself now. Nothing worth having comes easy.

Blessed be

I Just Watched the First Episode of IWTV

The Devil Himself

     I read a bit of the book a while back and haven't had a chance to pick it back up again. I'm quite sporadic when it comes to reading; I ended up buying Holly Madison's memoir "Down the Rabbit Hole" for $3 on a random week night. I read that book with such a ferocity, all within 3 nights, compared to my strained relationship with Louis de Pointe du Lac's own memoir.

    I still have a means to read it, even though I would prefer a physical copy over the PDF I have on my iPad. After finishing up Holly Madison's memoir, I felt very pleased to have read and finished the book, even though it was an easy read (absolutely no offense). It was a nice way to get back into reading.

    Riding that high of having just finished a book, I was looking for more horror related books to read in the bookstore. I thought, having only paid $3 dollars for Holly's book, I'd be able to score another one for around the same price. Wrong! It's $14 and up in that bitch. Oh well!

    So, I ended up looking up some horror books that I could download for free. I ended up downloading "The Monk", "Dracula", and "Carmilla". Very Gothic, I know. I had read Mary Shelly's "Frankenstein" when I was younger, however, I think I read one that was suited more for my reading level? I saw that the book was difficult to read, but at the time, I devoured it. Maybe I misread that info. I should read it again.

    Anyways, I have a stack of books, physical and digital, piling up. The chances of me reading IWTV are very slim compared to me watching the AMC series, lol!!

    I remember when the news of a live-action adaptation had just come out. I had some "friends" who weren't too keen on the casting of Louis and Lestat, as well as Claudia. There were the usual complaints... I didn't know enough about the source material, besides the 1994 and the 2002 films. I couldn't make any judgments on the casting, nor did I mind Louis's actor's race. These were the same "friends" that thought one of my other "friends" should cosplay the tanned woman of "Dirty Pair" because she was Mexican.

    After learning more about the source material, and actually investing in reading the series, I think the change from "plantation-slave-owner" was very much needed. Rolin Jones says it best: 'Jones said that the changes were made to place the story in a "time period that was as exciting aesthetically as the 18th century was without digging into a plantation story that nobody really wanted to hear now".' I thought it was a great move, kind of like a "fuck you" as well.

    The news about the IWTV television series broke 4 years ago. I let the series marinate for quite some time, lol. I knew I wanted to watch it, I just hate making the effort to watch new things, lol! I was also going through a lot throughout those years, including cutting off those so-called "friends". It was always at the back of my mind, especially after all of the clips I would come across on Twitter and Tiktok.

    After all of that time, I finally decided to watch the first episode! I thought I'd be able to binge a bit of the episodes, but I'd have to pay for a subscription :( Fortunately, I was able to watch the first episode for free (that's how they get ya!). Let's just say, after watching the first episode... I am willing to buy physical copies of every season.

    I basically read as far as the first episode goes, so I was able to note all of the creative decisions that were being made. The episode wastes no time introducing us to an aging Daniel Molloy and how quickly he heads to Louis's beckoning letter. Molloy is intrigued. He has another chance to conduct the interview of a lifetime, and goddammit, he wants to do it right!

    The episode was so impressive. I'm particularly enamored with Jacob Anderson's portrayal of Louis. As a non-binary person born female, I've had my own experiences growing up around toxic masculinity. As a Latino, it is known to me and my fellow Latinos as "machisimo". I understand that every culture has its own form of "machisimo", as toxic masculinity transcends multiple barriers.

    With that being said, seeing the contrast of Louis sitting leisurely on his sleek, modern couch to him mean-mugging in his car while he wields a pimp cane was interesting to see. He even notes on this himself, describing himself back then as more "rough-around-the-edges". Louis said that he had to portray himself in a certain kind of way to make it in that world. He even hid is sexuality, for which he held great shame for. It shows that this certain image of "masculinity" is a performance, as well as a protective shield. And that can be seen differently amongst every race, especially in Louis's case as a Black Creole man.

    What I admire the most about this show is that it does not shy away from topics such as racism and homosexuality. If we truly want to understand each other and counter racism and homophobia, we must acknowledge our differences and struggles. Being "color-blind" does not effectively cease racism.

    I am reminded of the ethics of sameness: The "other" will try to find base with the "normal" crowd in order to assimilate. "I might be gay, but me and my partner are just like every other hetero couple!". This "sameness" portrays the gay couple as less threatening and easier to understand. This "philosophy" fails because we still acknowledge being hetero as the "normal" and "default" setting of humanity. This action also fails to challenge the status quo. Queerness becomes digest able and conditional.

    In order to create harmony, we must challenge each other and have difficult conversations. We have to acknowledge each other's differences and accept them. Ignoring them does no one any justice, as the imbalances still exist. A gay couple is different from a straight couple, and that's okay. Sex is different, culture is different, parenting is different, politics are different. I haven't even mentioned intersectionality. We all must understand that. I've only watched the first episode, so I haven't seen how these themes unfold in the series, but I've heard good things.

    That is why I think Jacob Anderson's portrayal of Louis is so important. Also! Louis is easily becoming one of my favorite characters. He's become so complex and relatable, from book to show. He's a closeted man who loves his family and would do anything to make them feel comfortable. He might have to partake in unsavory business practices, but he's doing what he can during that time period. And then Lestat came to town and fucked everything up.

    I joke... But he did take advantage of Louis's grief, isolation, and desperation in order to change him. Who knows what Louis might have done if Lestat wasn't there. However, I must admit... They way Lestat seduces Louis... Shit, I would've been the same way. Stopping the poker game just to say that I deserve more in life... Especially after how hard I work to provide for my family as the sole bread-winner... Then letting me win the game... That would've gotten me. Lestat speaks a promise. Sam Reid's voice is so thick and sultry, it's perfect for Lestat.

    Lestat uses that voice to seduce Louis into turning into his immortal companion. Louis is completely lost and all he knows is Lestat and his sweet promises. Lestat vows to love Louis more than Jesus. Wow. Louis gives in. No more burdens, no more limitations, no more hiding. He lets go and Lestat embraces him. That's the end of Louis's mortal life.

    It was such a good episode, all 70 minutes of it. I was immediately captivated. Usually I am begging for more, whether it'd be queer sex, religious trauma, or just plain ol' freaky shit. I was very pleased. Gay shit has become so palatable and marketable as of late. I appreciate the show for not speaking to us in metaphors. And it's not like being gay is their whole purpose, you know? We have these multi-faceted characters on screen doing some toxic, messy shit!

    That's all I got for now, since I don't have the funds for a subscription. I think in the meantime, I'll try to get back into reading the book. I'll see if I can acquire a second-hand copy of some sort... I really miss looking through the books at thrift stores. In other news, I will be going to Spirit Halloween this Wednesday. Yippee!

I'm Restless, I Can't Help it!

 

    I must admit, I'm not feeling the best subconsciously as of late. I was working on a new header for my DeviantArt profile and I totally hate it! The resolution was very low, so my 3.0 pen strokes seemed HUGE on screen. I had to work around the resolution, so my drawing ended up looking a bit plain and lackluster when I finished it.

    I was becoming so frustrated. Exasperated! I needed a break, as I've been working on my newest PFP and header for the past week nonstop. It was becoming monotonous, despite my insistence on consistency. It was very hard for me to get back into illustrating again, as I felt like I had to re-familiarize myself with the techniques I had previously learned. I had also learned more about how I'd like my illustration style to look, as it had been a long journey to even start drawing digitally. I have learned a lot in the past 10 years...

    So, my brain is a bit fried. I've been existing in a constant state of anxiety, trying to figure out how to illustrate again. It didn't help that I was already struggling a bit mentally beforehand. I had a bit of a breakdown earlier in the week. I cried a lot. There was a lot of built up emotion that I didn't know I had. Logically, I couldn't pinpoint the reason as to why I was crying so much. It was just an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

    I guess I'm sad because I don't have a social life. Having all of this time to dedicate myself to the craft is a very rare opportunity, but I'm beginning to realize that there is more to life than just creating art. It feels like I'm trapped, and the worst part is, I know it's all of my fault. Even worse, I know I could quickly rectify my situation with a shallow and temporary plan. Or I could just say fuck it, and give up on my dreams. I don't have shit to show for it, so why bother even continuing?

    Sorry, that was a moment of weakness I just displayed back there. "The moment when you feel like giving up is right before your breakthrough." This is really hard to do by myself. I'm tired of feeling like a failure. "Any moment now, any moment!" I'm tired of doing this shit by myself. I'm not happy with my life. I wish I had a life to live outside of my art. Because, what the hell fuels the art??? LIFE!! This lonely, tortured artist shit is fucking bullshit. I'm really struggling here.

    I think I'm just too damn hard on myself. This perfectionist shit has to pay off for something, right? I'm tired of being a slave to conditions. I've willingly lost control of very important parts of my life, a huge sacrifice I made, just to be here and create. Was it worth it? I don't even know anymore. I'm tired of being pathetic.

    I think I'll give myself until the end of the year. If I don't make any significant progress, I'll just move on with my life. I'm really desperate to feel something, anything. I would then work on my next goal: Moving out of this stupid fucking town! "Take me out, tonight. Take me anywhere. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care". I just want to get out of here. This is all just so embarrassing, really.

    I don't really know what to do to make myself feel better at the moment. I drank as much coffee and tea as I wanted, and I shuffled all of my tarot cards as usual. I even watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. I'm feeling quite lost at the moment. A bit hopeless. Tomorrow is another day.

My Halloween Cup Collection... So Far

 

    I must admit, I do have a coffee/tea cup obsession. I do not need any more coffee cups... But I love them. I've titled this "My Halloween Cup Collection" because they were purchased during Halloween time, however I use them all year round because I'm... You know... #goth. They are just a pain in the ass to wash every time I choose another one, lol. I've decided to make this post because I gained 4 more additions to my collection! Mind you, these are just my "Halloween" cups... 

1. Dracula Cup: My mother found this at either Ross or Marshall's! Very cool and vintage looking, I love vampires.

2. Beetlejuice Glass Tumbler: I really love that ectoplasm, snot green, exorcist vomit color. Cool print! The cup is from Spirit Halloween!

3. Future Ghost: Momento Mori. I love morbid things. Life is short, so YOLO! Ross Purchase :3

4. Vintage Cat Cup: Another cup in the same vain as the Dracula cup! My mom spotted it at either Ross or Marshall's! Loveeee that spooky look!

5. The Exorcist Mug: Another great find from Spirit Halloween! The Exorcist is a beautifully told film about trauma, motherhood, and faith. One of my top 5 horror films for sure. It does scare people.

6. Hocus Pocus: Yes, I know, it looks very Rae Dunn-ish, but it's not! I just love the black and white contrast of the font and the cup. Like a reverse typewriter print, reminds me of old comics and stuff. Plain and simple!

7. Orange for Halloween!: A very traditional looking orange Halloween cup! It reminds me of my childhood and how magical Halloween used to be! Very classic and childlike :)

8. Ouija Board Cup: My dumbass microwaved this cup for 1.5 seconds and it started to smell like chemicals. DO not MICORWAVE!!! The paint cracked a bit, but the cup is fine! Another great Spirit Halloween find, I love the imagery of a Ouija board. It does scare people.

9. Hello Kitty: My mom found this one while she was out and about a couple of weeks ago! It is my newest addition since last Fall :) Halloween Hello Kitty merch is notoriously hard to find, but I think the hype has died down this year. What I really want is the Frankenstein Hello Kitty pillow :3

10. Bat Cat Cherry Cup: Again, I love this color!! I don't have anything like this cup, so I caved and brought it home with me today :) It has that soft texture on the outside? It almost feels like rubber, but not quite? Anyways, awesome cup, couldn't leave it behind!

11. Vintage Cat Cup Strikes Back: I couldn't just leave this cute little cup behind! It's the ultimate nostalgia trip, from the purple scribbles to the cute cat in the middle. It's such a cute shape as well. I needed this in my collection! 

12. Pink Skull: Look at this thing. I love vibrant colors, so this was very VERY hard to leave as well. So I brought it home with me. It's the same texture as the green bat/cat/cherry cup! It's very novel, so I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not to actually use it. There was another cup in the same texture, but in a more fuchsia color? Purple pink? It was in a more utilitarian shape and it had raised spider-webs with hearts in the middle. If I encounter it again, I WILL take it home. I would probably use that over this cup, designating the cup above as a pen holder. Love this cup!

    Yes, I bought 3 cups in one outing. I understand how frivolous it was, but I will use these cups until they break. They were not priced high, all of them are under $7! Cups are one of my favorite things to collect, so I don't feel too bad, lol.

    While I was looking around, I found some really cute claw clips. One of my claw clips had broke a bit, so I used that as an excuse to pick these up!

I couldn't pass up the glitter, especially the black one!

    I had also spotted a Frankenstein candle in the sale section, but I realized why it was on sale... The top was missing! It was so perfect, the scent was green apple!! It's a Martha Stewart candle, so I found it online... For $30!! Honestly... I would buy it. BUT! I will look at another Marshall's to see if I can find it in person. :'(

The cool guy!

    I tried going to Spirit Halloween today, but not only was it closed, I wasn't even at the right location. AGAGHHH!! I'm trying!!! I'll visit soon, the store won't close until November! I really want to get that Crimson Ghost mask cause I'm a part of the Fiend Club. I also need vampire fangs, the good shit though. And possibly a corset.

    Anyways, that's all for this post. Summer is officially over and Halloween is upon us! Yahoo!

Sunset

 

Found written in the sand.