End of February

 

    The second month of the year will be over tomorrow. I feel a lot better than I did last February, even though not much has changed in my life. I guess the first part of changing my life would be to heal my inner world. Mind, body, and soul.

    Good Lord, I just got done looking through all of my older journal entries. Not just my blog entries, but my physical journal entries. I didn't realize how much of my blood was in there...

    Anyways, I was trying to compare how I feel now to how I felt back then. I became consumed by my past. So, yeah, I do feel a whole lot better than I did last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. Geez.

    Let's see... Last February I was cleaning my grandpa's house because my extended family was going to stay there. I was very mopey and self-pitying. I was devastated at not having a Valentines. So devasted, I started my research into Objectum Sexuality. Video essay coming this December! I started blogging again, but I deleted the posts quickly after. I was struggling with my insomnia. I was also looking for different outlets of expression. I just knew I wanted to start anew.

    This month has been pretty great! Better than the last 3 February's combined. Or maybe just the last 2, that I know for sure. I have been going to the gym consistently since January and I feel so much fucking better about myself. I started vlogging the whole month to help me stay positive and I plan to post it to YouTube. I have been working on my art and how I present myself as an artist. I made a lot of decisions in regards to the things I make and how I share them. I did not have a Valentines this year and I was still devastated, lol! Mainly because of the FOMO; V-day happened on Saturday this year. Boo!!

    However! I did end up going to a Galentine's Day gathering with my mom's coworkers, lol. It was fun, I received a lot of cute gifts and took many shots. Definitely a lot better than moping around and crying all of the time. Here's my loot!

    I've been preparing myself for my family's upcoming spring break trip. We're going to the beach for a couple of days, so we're all very excited about that. That means pushing myself a bit harder at the gym. But! I won't have unrealistic expectations; I can't look the way I want to look by the end of March. I'm having to reckon with the fact that I still have a ways to go. I mean, I'll look so much better than I did last year, that's for sure! Instead of being stuck in my head, worried about all of my flaws, I will be present and confident.

    I've just been trying really hard this year. And it's working! It's taking time, but that means it will stick this time. I have had a few bad days, but not bad enough to give up. As I was looking through my old entries, I was immediately transported to those times. I was filled with so much dread, it took me a moment to shake that feeling off. I am never going back there. Typing this out feels surreal. I can't believe how far I've come. I am quite proud of my progress. Just like adding more weight onto your machine, I'm going to add more things to my schedule. It's all about becoming stronger these next couple of months.

    I'll be going out tomorrow. It's like a celebration. I'm on the lookout for a new hat, as well as a little gym bag. You know... Cause I go to the gym? :D Like I mentioned in my last post, I do feel like something is about to drastically change in my life. Whether it'd be an internal or external change, I know it's coming. It's inevitable, it's something I've been waiting for this whole month. For years, if I'm being honest. We shall see what tomorrow brings us, and if not, the next month.

    I went to the dollar store today and grabbed some stuff for the beach trip. And a couple of other things to try! I had my eyes out for the L.A. Colors Mermaid collection and I managed to get my hands on a couple of items. I'm going to try them out tomorrow, so I'll write about them in the next post. The collection is kind of meh, but I'm a mermaid so I needed them.

    I always need gum! And that blush is so sexy, I can't wait to try it out tomorrow. The lipgloss is so good as well, I tried it on as soon as I got home. Very sparkly and cute <3 I'm gonna wrap this up, I'm actually getting tired. We're leaving by 10 AM tomorrow, so I need to prepare myself. OOTD tomorrow as well! <333

"The Apple Tree Under the Sea" Hemlocke Springs Album Review

 

    Like a lot of people, Hemlocke Springs first caught my attention with her delightfully infectious track "Girlfriend", which became a trending sound on TikTok circa 2022. Ever since then, I have kept an ear out for any other of her songs that might trend again. While "Girlfriend" caught my attention, "Sever the Blight" (2023) made me fall so deeply in love with Hemlocke Springs's music. I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to that track since it came out.

    I will admit, I didn't keep up with any other of her releases ( I know, fake-ass fan), but I still liked Hemlocke Springs as an artist and I watched her success grow through videos on TikTok. You can imagine my delight to find her opening for artists like Ashnikko, Doja Cat, and Chappel Roan. Much deserved success!

    Here we are, four years later, and Hemlocke Springs has just released her debut album, "The Apple Tree Under the Sea". Right off the bat, the name is very fitting, as well as the gorgeous album art. Before even listening to the album, you can get the sense of mysticism, fantasy, whimsy, and playfulness just by the title and album art. Her album must feel like a dream. And it is!

    I was able to listen to her album while I was at the gym! Then, I listened to it again once I got back home. I was not disappointed. The album was everything I thought it would be, based on my interpretation of the album cover. The tracks are un-skippable and very impressive for a debut album. I can imagine myself listening to the whole album while I'm taking a stroll on the beach.

    Hemlocke Springs's debut album is very much 80's pop influenced, like the rest of her musical library. I found myself thinking of Madonna and Prince while I was listening to certain tracks. Some of her songs, specifically "Sever the Blight", sound very fantastical and medieval-like. Many of Hemlocke Springs's listeners have been comparing her sound to Kate Bush's, and I must agree. There are even a couple of tracks that gave me some 2000's dance club/hip-hop vibes! Hemlocke Springs displays her range while still keeping a cohesive sound that is explicitly hers. It is a refreshing listen and I plan on keeping her album in rotation while I paint unicorns and roses.

    Without further ado, here is my review for each track off of "The Apple Tree Under the Sea"! The red apples next to the track title denote my favorites!!!

1. "the red apple"

    The way Hemlocke's album opens feels like finding an ancient book and reading its preface. The track is about someone who wants to be "holy" and "good", referencing the Jewish name for God, "El Shaddai". But the person is relishing in temptation, singing "Lately, red apples are tasty", referring to the religious, symbolic nature of the apple. The track sets up the fantastical, mystical nature of the album.

2. "the beginning of the end"

    First of all, Hemlocke sings this track so good. I love how she growls a bit. This song makes me bop my head. The chorus is intoxicating. I love how the song ends. The track is so good, you almost don't pay attention to the lyrics, despite the first lines being, "Sometimes I think I should avoid, The simpleness of filling holes with opioids". The person in the song sounds so lost and hopeless, it's a bit depressing. It yearns for release.

3. "head, shoulders, knees, and ankles"

    This track is so mischievous. Very maniacal. It reminds me of Marina and the Diamonds, particularly the tracks "Oh No!" and "Hollywood". And the ending? It brings the song back down to earth with some piano playing, then an instrumental. This song is about a woman suffering the collateral damage of Cupid's arrow, suffering the fate of attracting a man, "Of giving several kisses, most of them were just below the knees". "I fear he has a fetish giving calves a squeeze". That's crazy. I am so giddy. Fuck you Cupid. The woman suffers a blow to the chest.

4. "w-w-w-w-w"

    The song does a great job of setting up the atmosphere for its meaning. This song gives me chills, especially the way Hemlocke sings these lines, "Why would she do that when he's already got one foot in the grave? I would rather kill myself than look him in the eyes and say". Hemlocke Springs has a habit of singing dreadful lyrics so wistfully. I want to sing along with her,

"And I can't even fathom

Waking up the man on Sunday morning

Cooking him some breakfast, brewing coffee

Why would she do that when he's already got one foot in the grave

And already bought a child to enslave?

Ha, he's seventy-three, yeah, his soul is astray

So I would rather kill myself than look him in the eyes and say

Ha, look him in the eyes and say"

She's always so earnest. I love that.

5. "moses"

    This song opens up with some A Capella, almost like a hymn you could sing in church, which is fitting for the opening lyrics. The song then shifts into a late 90's/early 2000's dance track you could move to in a club. I love the violins towards the end of the track, it's very fitting. BUT! Right after the violins, you get this little Crystal Castel-esque bit that worked me out!!

6. "sever the blight"

    I think this song might be one of my favorites of all time. I just can't get over the opening. And the way she sings "I heave a sighing breath (ha, ha, ha, ha), Love is miles away". Like, what? This song is so fantastical and charming. Wistful. It reminds me of a princess stuck in a tower, waiting for true love to save her. If the princess was tied up in the basement, lol. The song and music video definitely give medieval vibes, we can see Hemlocke playing the lover locked away, as well as the evil husband. This song immediately triggers my imagination, causing me to think of knights and sword fighting. I love this song!!

7. "sense is (prelude)"

    This prelude is so cool, it really adds to the storytelling element of her album. There's marching and shouting that transitions into the next track, "sense (is)". It reminds me of Flyleaf's album, "Momento Mori".

8. "sense (is)"

    This song is the most 80's sounding out of all of them. This is where I get a bit of Madonna's "Lucky Star" era, at least in my own interpretation. Prince even. Again, I love her growls. I've noticed that Hemlocke's writing is very esoteric, she almost sings in riddles. This song has the most enigmatic lyrics out of all of the tracks, lol. There's a running theme in Hemlocke's writing about not wanting to give into societal pressures, such as getting married and having children. She yearns for freedom, for clarity. Despite the confusion, Hemlocke has confidence in herself. 

9. "set me free"

    This song is the most "hip-hop" out of all of her tracks. I'm reminded of the score for Soul Eater, lol! This is the only love song, with no contradictions, on the album! There's no ambiguity in the lyrics, unlike some of the tracks. Her writing is a lot more romantic in this song, "Lead me into bliss and love me with your lips". This song is really charming. I want to listen to it on the beach while the sun sets, accompanied with a slight breeze. Maybe a lover is sitting right next to me. It's a good song :)

10. "be the girl!"

    This is another 80's sounding track (I describe it this way because I am ignorant as to what instruments are being used... synths?). This song is about leaving the past behind and "eating the apple". The song describes mourning a failed "relationship" that wasn't really good in the first place. At least, that is what I am interpreting. "Eating the apple" could mean giving into the madness, or releasing oneself from past burdens. This song closes up the album and, depending on how you interpret the song, could mean dissolving into madness or running off into the sunset!

    "The Apple Tree Under the Sea" was a very pleasant experience to listen to! I felt like the album started off really strong and ended a lot more calmly, almost quick. The album didn't end in this huge crescendo, but a drifting dream. I feel like the last song quickly wrapped up the existing theme of the album.

    I give this album a solid 8 out of 10 stars!! Or apples. Eight Apples!! This was a really exciting release and I'm glad I was able to listen to it first thing in the morning. I am a huge fan of Hemlocke Springs and I can't wait to see what she does in the future!

Galentine's Party (2-13-26)

 

Spiderwebs, Ribs, and Bows, Oh My! (1-12-26)

 

Is it Ur B-Day?? (1-6-26)

 

    The chica in the drive-thru window asked if it was my birthday because of my princess ruffle headband. T'was not!! But thank you for noticing <333

Strawberry Skeleton Milkshake (12-26-25)

 

Recent Mini Vlog