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So, this film review is pretty fucking late! I watched this movie a little over 2 weeks ago... Life has taken an unexpected turn and I'm trying to keep up with everything. I can't let myself lose what little structure I have left. Talking about the things that I love, and still doing the things I enjoy, helps me stay grounded in reality. With that being said, here is my film review for Final Destinations; Bloodlines :)
I enjoy the original film series! I enjoy the campiness of some of the films and I don't hold any "high" expectations for any of them. It's been long enough to look back on the past releases fondly, as I accept them for what they are; Products of each release date. So, when this film was announced and the trailer premiered, I was so ready for some crazy shit!
I had some extra money come into my possession, and I knew I wouldn't be able to see the film on its premiere date. I wasn't going to wait for my family to make any plans to see the film, so I took it up on myself to watch the movie on my own! I've watched 3 other movies on my own: The Nun II, Lisa Frankenstein (In an empty theater during Valentines Day), and Nosferatu Christmas Morning! Watching horror films in theaters by myself is probably one of my most favorite things to do!
I woke up early, telling no one about my secret escapade, and drove to Dunkin' Donuts for their $6 meal. I was able to eat it before entering the theater that's attached to the mall, my favorite crappy theater (I've watched every film there). The trailers started at 9:00 AM and I was sitting behind the only people in attendance, a couple. I went into the showroom so hyped!
I'll admit, I've been enjoying the nostalgia that's been happening as of late. Not the Disney cash grabs, that's for sure! My Chemical Romance is touring again, Scene is back, a new Final Destination film came out, and I'm finally old enough to fully enjoy the hype! That's why I was so excited to watch this film in theaters!
I was shaking in my seat, like I was getting ready to ride a roller coaster. Granted, I was expecting some stupid crazy shit to happen while early 2000's nu metal played in the background, but it's 2025 and there's no reason for Ill Niño or Deftones to make it onto the soundtrack. That's what unfortunately lost points from me; After the cheesy, cornball shit from the early 2000's, horror has been trying to take itself more seriously. While I appreciate that, I still yearn for the campiness that came from that era. I mean, Malignant and Abigail are some current examples, but I wanted it specifically from the Final Destination franchise. It's all of the film reviewerr's fault for riding the franchise so hard.
Let's talk about that intro. It was probably the best part about the whole film, my favorite moment in fact. I have to watch the entire series over again to decide which one has the best intro, as well as which film holds my top 3. But man, that intro. It's pretty far up there, for sure!
The modern filming of the movie kind of takes you out of the era it's supposed to occur in. There's a lot of CGI, but the film can't help that. It would be damn impossible to get all of the shots and SFX's. The couple we are introduced to are very charming and you feel bad for them when all of the shit goes down. The song that plays in the background, "Shout" by The Isley Brothers, is so catchy and deceiving! It was the perfect disguise for the impending doom that would soon occur.
When it happened, my jaw dropped the whole time! It was complete and utter chaos and I loved it! You almost hate to see some of the characters die, lol! Except that one kid, lmao! The film got 1 point just for the child death! He had it coming, asshole!! There was a fire stunt done by Yvette Ferguson that set a world record for the oldest person to be immolated on film! She was on fire for a fat-ass minute too, lol. No one was spared!
Stefani Reyes was our main protagonist for the film; She wasn't bad in the film at all, in fact, she played her part very well. She kind of lacked a bit of substance and didn't have as much personality as Devon Sawa's character. But, I can't complain, she had one job to do and she did it well.
The film was very self-aware, we didn't have to sit through the rules all over again. The movie got straight to the point, no bullshit!! She quickly deduced that she was having visions about her grandma Iris dying, so she began to search for more answers. Stefani goes home and visits her uncle Howard to learn about her estranged grandmother. We learn that Stefani's mom left her family, and that her mom and uncle were living in a chaotic environment with her grandma Iris in their youth. Her uncle forbids contact with her grandmother, but her Aunt Brenda (Fun fact, my real name is Brenda. Do you know how many times I've heard my name being used to describe a librarian or a snooty bitch? Kind if iconic, tbh.) lets Stefani know where her grandma Iris lives at.
Stefani manages to track down her grandmother and learns about her visions and how Iris can tell when death is coming. This freaks Stefani out as Iris passes down her knowledge to Stefani, before allowing herself to be impaled in the head by a weather vane. It was pretty gnarly.
A funeral is held, Stefani is deemed crazy by her family, Stefani's mom ends up showing up, and they all decide to get together to celebrate life. Stefani refuses to be around her mother, so she stay home to decipher her Grandma Iris's book of knowledge that she left her.
It's exciting to watch who will become the next victim of death as a shard of glass makes its way into a glass of water. It's like a glass shard Russian roulette that doesn't even manage to kill anyone! Stefani's uncle ends up getting killed by a lawnmower, lol! The next victim would have been Stefani's cousin Erik, that is, if Aunt Brenda didn't have an affair with another man during her marriage to Uncle Howard, lmao. It's pretty funny because Erik is the only child that looks exactly like Uncle Howard.
I'm not going to do a whole play-by-play of the film, otherwise this post would just be a film summary. There are a lot of funny parts throughout the film, mostly because of Stefani's cousin Erik. We get to see Tony Todd's final performance as William Bludworth and it's very bittersweet. It struck me on a personal level, due to personal circumstances I am currently experiencing. Seeing Tony Todd's shiny eyes and sweet old face reminded me of my grandfather.
A subplot I think that wasn't done well was Stefani's mom's whole involvement. If you took Stefani's mom out of the movie, there wouldn't be much of a difference. The actress was okay, she didn't really make me feel anything. I know she's supposed to be the link between Stefani and her grandmother, but we already see that link through her Uncle Howard. Maybe it would've been more impactful if instead of leaving her family, Staefani's mom just took her own life to save her kids. I don't know how well that would've played out in the film, but it could've been an option.
In the end, Stefani believes that she beat Death because she was rendered unconscious by drowning and was resuscitated by her brother. NOTE! Unconscious***, not dead. They both realize that and end up dying in a freak accident before Stefani's brother can take his date to the prom! We get a lot of callbacks to the previous films, what with all of the trains and logs and such. It was a pretty extraordinary way to end the film.
Final Destination: Bloodlines was a very enjoyable watch. It broke my heart a bit to realize we will never have another asshole disembowelment scene ever again </3 If there will be any other installments in the future, please let it be more camp and ridiculous! I have to say, some of the deaths after the grand opening were a bit lackluster, like Stefani's cousin Julia. She gets crushed by a garbage truck compactor. Eh, you know? The MRI machine pulling at all of Erik's piercings were pretty entertaining and farfetched, but still not one of my favorites. That cost the film some points, as well as Stefani's mom.
Overall, I'd 100% recommend this film! It's fun, straight to the point, formulaic (if it ain't broke, don't fix it), and new. I've watched several reviews of the film and a majority believe that it's one of the best films out of the whole franchise. I can agree on a technical level, but nostalgia will always have me choose Final Destination 3! So, I guess I have my list ready! My top 3 are Final Destination 3, Final Destination, and Final Destination: Bloodlines. That's my personal opinion! I'm a sucker for early 2000's films, that was my childhood :)
I watched this movie right after World Goth Day, so it was like day 2 to my celebration :) It was a pretty awesome experience, I hope I can watch more horror films in theaters in the future. I'm really looking forward to seeing 30 Years Later in theaters! I saw the trailer for Bring Her Back before Final Destination: Bloodlines, I thought that looked pretty intense! It's out now, but I'm not sure I can see it in theaters any time soon :/
Blessed Be!
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