Wow, we are more than halfway through June! I made a lot of posts during the month of May, over 70 I believe? I don't think the next couple of months are gonna be as jam-packed as May was :( Which is fine, because I'll be dealing with a lot of personal things in the future.
Currently, I feel hopeful. I've been under a lot of stress as of late, so I'm trying to regain my composure. I need to restore some balance in my life. I was shopping a lot and eating a lot, all to soak up the pain and turmoil that I was dealing with. I started to slow down as of late, especially after I weighed myself :/ So, I'm holding myself accountable! I am responsible for my own health. I need to show up for myself now.
I've been watching what I eat as of late. When all of this stuff started happening, I would get the big ass coffees from Dunkin' and down them. I also love sweets, so I indulged in those as well. Also junk food. I was so stressed, I didn't care. I let myself go just a bit.
I've done that before when my grandmother passed away. My life went completely off the rails after she died. I let myself completely go! It has taken me over 5 years just to get my damn head on right, and even then, I still have some issues. This time is going to be different because I am not getting any younger. My life starts right now, despite all of the things going on in my life and around me.
Once everything is done, I am going to completely throw myself into my art. I am going to start posting more of my art, as well as myself, online. I've had a graphic novel I've been planning on creating since I was 14 years old. That was 13 years ago. I've been waiting for the perfect time to strike, and the time is now. I haven't drawn anything in over 3 weeks. I had put a pin in the current comic I was working on. I've been wanting to upload sped-up "get-ready-with-me"'s onto TikTok for a while (Despite my better judgement). I have wasted too much time being afraid of being perceived.
Those are my plans, they have been written in stone. I am the alchemist, remember? The fucking magician. Creating something out of nothing. I've spent all of this time building the arc because the flood is coming. Everyone thinks my attempts (or lack thereof) are done in vain, but they don't know it's going to rain. I've known it was going to rain for a very long time now, there's no excuse for being unprepared. You stay ready, you don't have to get ready, right? So I'm just trying to get ready.
Anyways, I've done a lot of things the past couple of weeks. My mother bought a cute little pool to set up in my grandfather's backyard. It's been so lovely because his backyard is surrounded by trees and greenery. He has a huge palm tree growing, so it creates a nice shade for the pool to be under. It was so nice to just lay and float in it while some music plays. The water feels so good when you've been running around in 100 degree weather.
The pool was a hit for my younger cousins! Even though the pool is so small, these 6'-5' foot teenagers managed to get fully submerged under the water! We also have a mermaid tail sprinkler :) It's so cute! I'll have to make a separate post about the pool itself, lol! My other cousin came down from L.A. this past Saturday and we got in the pool with my younger cousin during the night. We were talking about middle school with my younger cousins, she's so funny XD
Earlier, I sat by the pool with my feet in the water while I had a quick smoke. Smoking is bad!!! I only smoke once every 3 weeks, sporadically, lol. I think I went like 3 or 4 years without having a single smoke? I know if I didn't stop, I probably would have developed a nasty habit by now. Don't smoke!!!
The roses in my front yard have grown back again :) I took the liberty of picking some for my mother and myself. Might as well have them in the house while they bloom, you know? And they smell so good. They're a beautiful vibrant pink, perfect shade for summer. I've been wanting to get an Arizona Tea to use as a vase for the roses, but no such luck! I want the plastic bottles, but I've only come across the cans so far! I gotta check the dollar store...
Summer Vibes :)
I guess I can use the cans as well! I don't like to drink the teas because of how much sugar is in each drink. I think the can is like 2 servings? Way too much sugar for me, as trivial as it sounds. I don't want to waste tea, but I think I could get one of my brothers to drink them, lol!! Or pour in into a container and put it in the fridge as I drink a serving a day... So complicated just to replicate a silly little moodboard pic!
Tomorrow, I'm gonna get my nails done with my mother :) I had gotten them done almost 3 weeks ago, so I think it's time for another round. It had been quite a while since I got them done, so it was nice to have my fingers and toes the same color! I'll make a separate post for that as well! Right now, they're a really cool shade of blue-purple! You don't usually see that kind of color around, or at least I don't! It reminds my of The Birthday Massacre :) I love this color so much, I'm really hesitant to change it! But I think I'll go for a metallic or shimmer in the same shade.
I went to Micheal's and grabbed a small tube of blue fabric paint that matches Cleo's blue! I have a black tank top that I'm going to paint a blue moon onto :) One step at a time! I also have a purple tank top that I'm planning on sewing a patch onto! I only have to decide which patch to sew... Anyways, I'm gonna scour the thrift for some new pieces, and possibly some dresses. Definitely the books and CD's!
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