I have decided to start all over again! Oh yeah!!
I have been holding onto the past a little bit too hard, even though I kept telling myself I was over it. I kept thinking, "Yeah, I've been through a lot of shit, so what? It's over now, I'm over it". I simultaneously haven't been giving myself enough credit for all of the hard work I did to be here today. I was so fucking sick, I didn't realize how sick I was until I started looking at old art and journal entries. That was some heavy shit, man.
But. I made it through somehow!!! I should be dead. I have thought about suicide since I was 7, that was the only way I knew how the pain would stop. I don't wanna die anymore!! Woohoo!!! ♡⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝♡ I've been shuffling a lot (what's new?) and I keep getting the same cards. The Fool, 10 of Swords, The World, The Lovers, Ace of Swords, Death, etc. I'm assuming it means that I broke the cycle, which is great news! That means it is time for a new journey to begin.
I have a lot of stuff to update on here, starting while my blog layout. I'm really into pink and seafoam green at the moment, I tend to like those colors a lot in the summer :3 Turning 28 did not decrease my desire for cute shit, it only enhanced it. I'm not mad at it. I'm embracing the "perky goth"/graver lifestyle.
It's currently 5:13 AM. I don't struggle with insomnia as much as I used to, but I do need a lot of sleep to feel good. I have chosen to stay up late, since I won't be going to the gym (rest day!). I felt a bit mischievous ( ¬⩊¬) I'm probably going to feed my kitty girl in a bit, since I'm still up. My nails are seafoam green atm. I love them.
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