I go through a lot of movies while I work on my art and comics. I really can't watch anything unless it's horror, sci-fi, or fantasy. Lately, I've been on an early 2000's, cheesy movie binge. It started after I came across a picture of Leelee Sobieski all Gothed out!
1. My First Mister (2001)
Leelee Sobieski plays a Goth named Jennifer that befriends an older man named Randall Harris. She is initially attracted to him, but eventually forms a bond with him that is akin to a father-daughter relationship. Through her friendship with Randall, she eventually is able to begin her healing process and open up to her family about her issues.
I did not expect this film to be so decent. I was initially weary about Jennifer's attraction to Randall, but he was very firm with his boundaries. He took on more of a mentor role in their friendship. I still wouldn't be letting her spend the night at my place, even though she was on the couch, that's too much in my humble opinion. But he remained firm in his decision.
Jennifer is an interesting character, albeit cliche. She's Goth, loaded with piercings, who self-harms and writes poetry about dying. She's not a fan of the real world, so she looks through binoculars backwards to warp her reality. Her mom is so nice and supportive, a bit overwhelming, but she has good intentions. Jennifer hates her, lol. She reminds me of Goob from Meet the Robinsons.
Jennifer likes to dance it out, eat chocolate she hides in a box, and help alt girls get their clit piercings unstuck from zippers. Listening to her internal monologue is quite entertaining, as it is through the eyes of a teenager. She writes in her diary a lot.
Anyways, she ends up getting a job as a sales associate at a suit shop run by Randall Harris. That is, only after she bugs the shit out of him and causes a ruckus. Their bond only grows from there!
The film's a bit dated, but it holds up quite well. It's almost 2 hours, running at 1 hr 50 min! You won't expect the film to end the way it does, so twist ending? Surprise ending? I recommend it if you want a slightly wholesome movie and some time to kill.
2. Vampire Clan (2002)
Still riding my early 2000's Goth movie kick, I was searching through vampire films on the T.V. I came across the film Vampire Clan. I went into it blind, eventually looking up the plot a third of the way into the movie.
Vampire Clan is a film based on true events, the 1996 "Vampire Killings" in Murray, Kentucky. What started out as a stupid cheesy film that made me laugh out loud, turned into a viewing of a tasteless recounting of true events. It was heavily dramatized and failed to tackle the subject with grace.
The recent sensationalization that has occurred in the true crime community has always rubbed me the wrong way, especially how the focus tends to be on the murders and not the victims. This film ended up feeling the same way to me. I really wanted a film that I could laugh at and make fun of, so I only focused on the acting and screenplay.
The group of teenagers, led by Rod Ferrel, are exactly who you'd peg them to be; Middle-class kids with too much time, interpreting Goth as poser vampires and bad make-up. If anything, the way that they dress and act is easy to make fun of, real dorky!
Essentially, Rod Ferrel kills Charity's (Heather Wendorf) parents and steals their car. He did this to help Charity to run away with him and his clan. She chickens out, they force her to stay with them, she finds out her parents are dead, the cops end up arresting them and getting a confession out of Rod. The End.
It's a bad film and an even worse interpretation of the actual crime. I don't recommend the film unless you want to view it at face value. It would be easier to laugh at.
3. Poison Ivy (1992)
Poison Ivy is the only outlier in terms of release date. I had watched this film when I was a freshman in high school. UNIF did a Lookbook based off of the film and I wanted to watch it! So I did!
I recently watched it again, as I was going through 90's fashion through my Pinterest boards. As I watched again, it grossed me out even more than the first time I watched it. You see Tom Skerritt's saggy old man ass!! Or, at least I think it's his ass. Drew Barrymore was only 17 when the movie was released. Disgusting.
The film also stars Sara Gilbert as a rich kid pretending to be poor to impress Drew Barrymore's character, whom she later names Ivy. Ivy likes the name and decides to go by it, befriending Sylvie (Gilbert) and eventually staying at her lavish house after winning Sylvie's parents over.
Ivy is psycho, though. A dog had just gotten hit by a car and Ivy mercy kills it with no remorse. A deadly moment of foreshadowing. Basically, Ivy begins to seduce Sylvie's father in spite of Sylvie's mom's sickness. Ivy succeeds, eventually pushing Sylvie's mom off the balcony, making it look like a suicide.
As Ivy tries to weasel her way into the family, Sylvie eventually finds out that Ivy killed her mom. A tussle ensues, but Sylvie ends up pushing Ivy off the same balcony. The End!
It's a pretty unremarkable film, even more unappealing given the fact that Hollywood was basically pimping a young Drew Barrymore out. This is sadly the case with many more young actresses, like Alicia Silverstone, Alyssa Milano, Julia Stiles, Domonique Swain, you get it. I don't recommend it.
4. Blood and Chocolate (2007)
I remember seeing a trailer for this film when I was a kid! Never understood anything about it, lol. I had avoided watching it until recently, 18 years later. The only reason I watched it was because of Kazlovesbats, aka Allison Eckfeldt.
The movie is so obviously from 2007. Hugh Dancy basically shows up as himself, despite the character originally being a goth kid? lol. It was a boring watch, not gonna lie.
After reading the synopsis of the novel it was based on, I can see what a huge steaming pile of dogshit this movie turned out to be. The novel was a lot more complex, hell it was frequently banned in the US from 2000-2009 due to its explicit content.
I don't plan on reading the novel. I don't know how I feel about reading a book involving explicit sexual themes, especially when the main character is a 16 year old girl. Let's just say, I'm not the target audience. I aged out of that area for sure, no more Blue Bloods for me. I don't even know how ethical that is? It's not like I'd read the book with those intentions. What are your opinions?
Anyways, Vivian, the main character is aged up in the movie. College age, I presume. She gets with Aiden in the movie (same ages) and with Gabriel in the book (He's 8 years older than her).
5. Goth (2003) TW
Click The Image to Watch The Trailer
I can't find the trailer on YouTube, so you're gonna have to watch it on IMDb!
This film is literal dogshit, it's probably one of the worst films I've ever seen, and I've watched House of the Dead. Even that film was one I could laugh at, this film was a snooze-fest!
I should've known when I saw the title: Goth. Puh-lease! Let's just make a fucking mess out of everything!
Basically, a couple is taken for a ride by a young woman named Gothe (yes... her name is Goth with an 'e'), she has it tattooed on her chest. Don't know why it's spelled regularly on the cover, but okay! Gothe gives them drugs, they wake up in her shitty little van, and she calls them posers. She has 3 rules to be a true "Goth":
1. Embrace the Darkness
2. Kill Your Fears
3. Live For Death
The fucking stupidest shit I've ever heard of, Oh my GOOODDDD. Gothe is also a rapist? She raped a guy at knifepoint. The dude of the couple (both Goths) berates her for going against Goth's true values, honestly he was the only sane one at that moment. He could've knocked her ass out, but apparently Gothe is just too strong. Plus, the chick of the couple was like "no, leave her". Okay, rape accomplice?
The whole film is ridiculous, it adds nothing to the commentary of the Goth subculture. It's an unnecessary film that I can't even make fun of, it's so bad. I wouldn't even bother watching it, just forget I said anything.
Anyways, there are a couple of YouTube videos about it, I came across them while looking for a trailer. I have to watch those! I recommend you to the same, rather than watch the film.
Well, that's it! That's 1/5 movies I recommend. Not a very high success rate, eh? Here's to more interesting movies in the future.
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