End of September

 

    It is the end of September. We have just passed our Harvest Moon, which means we must reflect and let go of things we no longer need. Autumn is here, leaving only 3 more months left in the year. That really scares me! And I almost feel like a failure.

    I really need to stop fucking around this month. I need to make more art now! It is very imperative that I start making more shit. I am very tired of reminding myself, "I'll do it, I'll draw it soon, I'll wake up early tomorrow". The year is basically over and I didn't do all of the shit I said I would. I am not going to give up just yet, there are 3 more months left, bitch! We shall see just how much shit I can get done before the year is over! ᕙ( ᗒᗣᗕ )ᕗ

    I am going to start talking about something different before I start spiraling. My cheerleader cousin is doing powderpuff and her football player brother is too. The game will be tomorrow on cheerleader cousin's 15th birthday, so I am in charge of making a poster for her. I can't really think of a clever phrase to write on the board, so I think I'll just put "Happy Birthday". That'll be cute, me thinks. I've got lots of glitter and stickers to decorate it too!

    I have also started a craft project, since October has started! I looked up Halloween crafts, so that I could do a couple throughout the month. I came across Halloween themed paper crowns! They're quite simple to make, you just need a ton of ribbon and a hot glue gun. For me, the difficult part is measuring everything, like the circumference of my head and how tall I want the peaks of the crown. I did make a prototype that is too snug on my head. But, it fits my mom's head just fine, so I'll decorate and give that one to her. After I finish mine, of course ( ¬⩊¬)

    I should be done with it by the end of the week, with a post following soon after! At least, I hope. Saturday is the hometown festival and my brother's birthday! Lots of things to do, hopefully all fun. Cheerleader cousin's Quince is only 2 weeks away. I remember receiving the news she'd have one back in February! And I could have sworn it was just February... Time flies. But it's all about divine timing, right? Everything happens as it's meant to be. What belongs to you will always belong to you. Just sit the fuck down and make it, goddammit.

    I really hope to not be here by next summer. That is my goal for 2027. Gosh, the years are scaring me! 3456783. Typed those numbers while cleaning my laptop off with a clorox wipe. Anyways, scratch that first message. It is not "I hope", it is "I will be moved out of this place by next summer". I will be gone by next summer. As a matter of fact, I will be gone before the summer begins. I will be celebrating my 29th birthday by the ocean. I will turn 29 while my feet are in the water. I have made that decision. I am ready to leave everything behind. I mean it. All of my possessions. I will leave it if I have to.

    I will also meet my goal weight and make a lot of money to sustain myself. I will! Goddammit. My time is now! I just need to be consistent and believe in myself. Everything will fall into place. Cinderella's going to the ball, which means she can get boba and watch movies in the theaters whenever she wants. 

Real cunt shit.